Posted in humour, television

Reality TV – Mixing It Up A Bit

My television has been permanently stuck on channel 5 since I moved house and lost the remote control. I turn it on, get cosy, then remember I have no remote, so channel 5 it is. Channel 5 has been an eye opener for me, and I’ve now become a reality TV addict (I also know a lot about the law when it comes to evictions, bailiffs and the like). As a result of watching CBB, CBB’s Bit On The Side and Make or Break (to name but a few) I’ve been working on my own ideas for reality tv shows.

*Googles pitching programming ideas to channel 5*

My first idea is more pay back rather than a serious pitch. I’d like to see all of the producers, writers, directors, team etc.. of Big Brother locked up in the BB house for four weeks. There should be a padded cell, this would be for timeout mainly, but on the first night the person whose idea to create the program should be locked in there and not allowed out until they have successfully completed a task. The task being to give the correct answer to one simple question. “What is the name of the dog that fathered the Queen’s Corgis?” The alcohol for the duration of the series would be stored in the padded cell. The rest of the contestants will be able to monitor the cell 24 hours a day. Let the games begin.

My next idea is a serious contender, it’s an adaption of an unsuccessful show that only lasted for one season. The Job Interview aired on Channel 4 in 2016, real life interviews with real candidates competing for real jobs. I think I know where it went wrong and how it could be improved upon (if anyone is thinking of stealing my ideas remember this post will have a publication date! You have been warned).

The Job Interview made the mistake of being too serious, it also scared the pants off anyone who may have been looking for a job. The new trend seemed to involve lots of psychometric tests that when under pressure you’re bound to fluff up. So I have an idea to alleviate that kind of pressure, but also get a very good insight into the candidate’s ‘real’ personality. It would be something like First Dates meets The Job Interview with the volume of alcohol as supplied to contestants on Big Brother.

I was advised, when attending an informal meeting, to follow the lead of the person I was trying to impress when it came to the number of drinks consumed. He was a piss head! Result! Assuming that advice is a ‘thing’ it would be obligatory for the lead interviewer to set the pace and drink a bucket load of booze. A second interviewer would be there to take notes, they’d have to drink a little alcohol as well so the interviewee was not  put off imbibing. This could be a real hit! It certainly adheres to the formula for good car crash TV.

At the risk of just chucking booze into the formula for all my reality TV program ideas, I could envisage all of the above programmes meet The Jeremy Kyle Show. Could you imagine that, alcohol on The Jeremy kyle Show. BUT I’m working on something a little more sophisticated for Jezzer, I’m thinking of something along the lines of Jezzer does Come Dine With me… “And the Father is…..those scallops done ok for you my lovely?”


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